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Snikt-ing it up in the Land of the Rising Sun: “The Wolverine”
After X-Men Origins: Wolverine proved to be about as much fun as, say, The Deer Hunter, the prospect of another outing featuring the slicey-dicey, bedheaded Canuck held about as much appeal as...
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More than zero…but not by much: “The Canyons”
So, here we got The Canyons, the eagerly-anticipated (uh…okay, we’ll go with it) collaboration between Paul Schrader—writer of such classic films as Taxi Driver and Raging Bull, and director of moody,...
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Two old guys try to kill each other, get tired, give up: “Killing Season”
Killing Season…um, wow. I genuinely don’t know where to begin with this film. I mean, it might just be easier to list what the film doesn’t screw up. For example, the vast majority of the film’s...
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Uwe Boll’s horrifying fantasy: “Assault on Wall Street”
Wow! You almost had me, Uwe Boll. You almost had me believing that maybe you’d gotten a bad rap all these years for the likes of the Dungeon Siege epics and Alone in the Dark. I’m not saying they...
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Gunmonkey presents: “Back to the ’90s!”
The other day Slate.com posted an article making the argument that the 1990s were one of the best–if not THE best–decade of the 20th century. This got me thinking about doing a retrospectivbe of ’90s...
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In the 1990s beautiful women terrorized us all: “The Temp”
So, the first installment of “Back to the ‘90s” feature (for no reason other than I had it in my iTunes rental queue) is 1993’s The Temp. If forced to come up with a reason for the significance of...
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In the 1990′s the future was really lame: “Johnny Mnemonic”
Okay, now this film is instructive indeed. It shows us a glimpse of a very specific moment in time—1995, in fact—when the world arrived at the intersection of science and culture. It was the moment...
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In the ’90s we were totally okay with statutory rape (we weren’t really okay...
So, we’re back on the misogyny of the 1990s—well that was quick—but it’s hard to escape, what with the decade being so rife with it and all. 1993’s The Crush was no doubt sold to studio execs as...
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In the ’90s we thought this was a good idea: “Harley Davidson and the...
So, um, who thought green-lighting this movie was a good idea? I mean, really, what was the selling point here? I just…I’m sorry, I can’t figure out why an actual movie studio—you know people whose...
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In the ’90s, John Woo came to Hollywood…and then had to work with Jean-Claude...
Hong Kong filmmaker John Woo pretty much defined a genre and re-defined action movies on a global scale. He brought an almost heretical stylization to action sequences that went beyond Sam Peckinpah’s...
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In the ’90s we were really worried about killer robots wielding sex toys:...
In 1990’s Hardware inexplicably got a theatrical release. I’m not sure why. It was clearly made on shoestring budget with no bankable actors, but, whatever. George H. W. Bush was in the White House,...
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The movie that predicted the ’90s: “I Come in Peace”
Here is a little-seen gem of an action movie. 1990’s I Come in Peace (released internationally as Dark Angel) didn’t make much of a splash when it was released in theaters (it was actually released in...
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They came for Matt Damon’s brain! “Elysium”
Elysium is the latest sci-fi adventure-cum-social commentary by Neill Blomkamp and his follow-up to the surprise hit District 9. Even more than that movie, Elysium is shot through with a healthy dose...
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Deado on arrival: “R.I.P.D”
Poor Ryan Reynolds. He’s a capable enough actor with solid comedic chops and a ‘40s matinee-idol face and hair. He’s already famous, yet can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to movies. And with...
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The terror of Jerry the vampire: “Fright Night”
You know Hollywood is deep in the Dead Horse Seas of creative bankruptcy when they remake a movie like 1985’s Fright Night. I mean, it’s not like the movie was any kind of a high water mark of ‘80s...
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The terror of Gerri the…oh, we did that already: “Fright Night 2: The New Blood”
Going into Fright Night 2: The New Blood, I wasn’t exactly optimistic. After all, it’s a non-theatrical release sequel which has none of the same actors as the major theatrical release original....
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Caught in its web: “Earth vs. the Spider”
Well, this is a surprise. No, don’t get all excited—Earth vs. the Spider is not a good movie. It’s actually a pretty ridiculous one in most ways. Still, it’s always refreshing when you stumble across...
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Really? It’s come to this? “The Midnight Meat Train”
Is this happening? Am I really reviewing a movie called Midnight Meat Train? Really? How can this possibly end any other way than the expected one? Dear reader, do you honestly expect me to say...
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Stuck in purgatory (actually 1985): “Haunter”
I just watched Haunter, and came away thinking , hey—another movie that doesn’t totally suck. Is it my birthday? No, it can’t be that. Is karma repaying me for something good that I did? I can’t think...
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Emo vamps, IKEA, and Sapphic fencing: “Embrace of the Vampire”
I’m going to apologize in advance for this post, since it’s a bit, er…adult in nature and not the family-friendly G-rated (maybe PG…like 1980s PG) norm of this blog. So think of this post as Gunmonkey...
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